Saturday, August 27, 2011

"One New Message"

Jason got up from his bed and looked out the window, "8:30 and its already this bright?" he muttered to himself as he looked at his calender. "You gotta be kidding me, its December! The sun doesnt come up till at least 10!" he spoke out loud as he walked to the bathroom.

He took a piss like always, a daily ritiual that's gone on since time itself. He looked into the mirror and saw his frigid face, still numb from sleeping at an odd angle last night. He took a quick shower and tidied himself up.

He checked his phone, "ONE NEW MESSAGE" was all that he saw on his screen. He clicked it without thinking twice, as most people do when they get a text. "Dear Mr. Blaire, we regret to inform you that your wife passed away last night. The hemmoraging took too much out of her, our condollances go out to you"

He just stood there and looked at his phone. He couldn't believe it. Jason picked up his phone and tried to call his parents. He opened the contacts section of his phone and found that there were no contacts at all. "Wha-?" he mumbled as he looked awkwardly at his phone.

He didnt think much of it, as he would just run over to their house anyways, seeing as the news might be a shock to them too. He got into his beat up 15' Civic and rode downtown.

It took him about 15 minutes to get there, but it felt like forever. He didn't know how to tell his parents that his wife had just died. They knew she was in a car accident and that Jason was with her, but when they admitted her they said she was critical, but that she'd probably survive. He cried the whole way there. The apartments were old and raggity, but Jason's parents didnt seem to mind. Jason drug himself up the strairs, still sobbing with the news of his wife's passing. He approached the door and knocked several times. "Huh..maybe they went out for lunch" Jason told himself in the hallway. He slipped back to his car and got in it, driving off to his house.

He looked around everywhere for a number to reach his parents, but he couldn't find anything relevant. All he found were old notes  and scraps of drawings amongst his heap of papers in his office. I'll just visit later I guess.

He ended up driving to the hospital that day. He stepped up to the center desk and asked the attendent for the room of "Emily Blaire". The attendant rolled her eyes and placed a call. "Dr. Yalta, we got someone here for you" was all she said before hanging up and returning to reading her En Vogue magazine.

Dr. Yalta strode towards Jason with a smile on his face. "Good morning Mr. Blaire! How can I help you?" was all the good doctor said

"I was told my wife passed away last night here" was all Jason said, holding back tears.

"Mr. Blaire, come have a chat with me in my office" said the doctor as he lead Jason to his office.

Once inside, Dr. Yalta turned to Jason and said "Mr. Blaire, your wife has been dead for some time now, I plead you stop coming to my office to try to see her. I've tried to get you conseuling, but you always ref-"

"What did you just say?" Jason said angrily

"Your wife has been dead for 5 years Jason."

Jason looked at the doctor stupified. He didnt know what to believe. He practically ran out of the hospital and into his car. He drove home at almost 80 miles an hour. He had a huge headache, and it was driving him insane.

He finally made it home and laid his head on his pillow.

"Tomorrow" he told himself, "I'll find out what happened"

He drifted off into a deep sleep, only to find out he slept all night too.

He looked out of his window and saw that it was bright out. "Wow! Its only 830 and its this bright?" He felt his phone in his pocket and pulled it out. "ONE NEW MESSAGE" was all that it said, he opened it up and was in complete shock, all it read was "Dear Mr. Blaire, we regret to inform you that your wife passed away last night. The hemmoraging took too much out of her, our condollances go out to you". He started crying, and opened up his contacts to try to call his parents, but nobody's name was in his phone. So he headed to the car and started driving downtown.

"How am I gonna tell them my wife died?" He thought to himself.


Was it too predictable? I need advice on how to write ha, I think I could've made the ending so much more better, but didnt know exaclty how to put it.


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. Perhaps it could have been a little longer? I mean, not necessarily longer, but enough so you can convey even more mistery about the wife. Like, breaking paragraphs and stuff so it *seems* longer, more desperate.
    But I liked it!

  3. Nice read, though the moment of the text could have been a little more 'intense' if you understand what I mean.

  4. Yeah, I understand, glad you doods like it! :D

  5. I like the idea, you are very good writer, much better than me

  6. Awesome post man! keep up the great blogging!

  7. i like it :)
    i would prefer it if there was some more conversation between Jason and the doctor to shed some light in to his condition!