Tuesday, September 6, 2011
ARMY OF DARKNESS
Once you get this DVD right here, you can precede to masturbate furiously at the very thought of watching this. It is an honor, no, a PRIVILEGE for this movie to even be at your house. You might even want to be careful putting this thing into your DVD player, simply because there are hundred's of injuries every day from DVD players EXPLODING ON CONTACT WITH THIS MOVIE. Its that fucking awesome.
IF A.) Your DVD player didnt explode, and B.) You yourself did not explode from merely touching this movie, prepare your eyeballs, which WILL melt from your skull once this motherfucker starts.
Hopefully after the first five minutes your eyeballs arent nothing more than mush, and thus you can actually watch your movie. BUT WAIT, THERES MORE! If you are a male, prepare for uncontrollable spontaneous ejaculations from every fiber of your dick. Seriously, you could impregnate that hot chick down the street with how much semen comes outta your penis from simplying looking at the screen blankly while this movie is playing. If you survive this ordeal, and fully watch this movie without dying, you get to choose any mate you want, for forever. Seriously, I got bitches lined up for days cause of this movie, it makes you that badass.
Basically, go get this fucking movie right now.